...and pretend like there never was a long break in between?

One day I'm going to print all the entries and make a book and keep it under my bed and when I'm feeling vain, I'll look through it.

When I'm bored at work or driving, I try to come up with a single truth about myself that embodies my personality. Its a pretty difficult task, (I've given up on planing a utopian society) and so far, I've come up with:

1. I always point out dogs. "Dog!"

2. I like to leave the sunroof open while I drive so it can rain inside the car.

3. I don't want to grow old.

per request and the fact that I reread my admissions essay and realized that I couldn't have written it today or tomorow, not this week or month anyway, because I don't do this enough, I don't write enough and that is sad and bad and see if I did this more often, I could come up with a more appropriate adjective that a three year old wouldn't use.

I went to the writing center to have a tutor go over my draft for the lens essay and our meeting was 40 minutes long, 20 of which i sat staring at horrified because she was seriously one of the scariest looking people I have ever seen. She reminded me of Glen Close in 101 Dalmatians with a british accent. Absolutely terrifying with a pale face, jet black hair, dramatic black eyeliner, bright red lipstick and this long drawn out accent that really, I seriously just wanted to jump out of my chair and run screaming. Which would have been slightly inappropriate. After about 20 minutes, I started to get used to her, she was nice, but why why why dye your hair black, no color black and look so scary? I think that I was traumatized as a child by Glen Close (she did want to kill puppies) or something, because I've never really felt such an irrational fear. Make the scary lady go away. God she probably frightens little children and babies, its too bad that she's nice.

On to other scary feelings, I went to IND to pick up Victoria and walked through lockers and for a minute, I really wished I was back. I just remember feeling so pumped and so proud of the work that came together into the locker room and really for that second, I would have given a lot to be back. Another scary feeling, leaving the IND Mercy Game after we lost and feeling like, "oh well, it's just a basketball game." I remember feeling like it was the greatest event ever, second maybe to Christmas and my birthday, and it was never JUST about basketball, and yet thats all it is now. That is sad, I want that feeling back.

I wore my uniform shirt and it was the best decision I could have ever made. Its so comfortable, I would compare it to not wearing anything at all but that would not be very comfortable and would be really really awkward. Its not that the shirt is comfortable, but its just the act of wearing it is, because I've worn it for so long and with so many people that its really just an extension of me and its not something I have to worry about wearing. Its like thinking about wearing your pinky or your ear, you know, its just natural to wear it and it just feels so right, there aren't any doubts.

Uniforms/nostalgia/scary lady. That is all.

This is my year in review. You're supposed to take the first line from each entry from each month and compile it together. I'm really satisfied with how this turned out and it really is my whole past year.

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This is a sad excuse for a new entry for a new year.

Best day ever today.

I listen to NPR in the morning while I drive, and yesterday they did a story on this amazing couple.

I recieved my FedEx package in the mail and it definitely happened, the email wasn't some horrible mistake, I am going to Columbia University!

So senior prom came and went in what must have been the shortest four hours of my life and it was amazing and very fun, I mean I wouldn't call it the best experience of my life, but it was definitely fun.

So I've taken to wearing my bathing suit around the house for a number of reasons (I'm wearing it right now actually),

Sometimes... I'm a cynical person and people laugh.

For the first time in a long time, everything is ok.

I'm at college and its enjoyable.

Today I went to gym and went running on the treadmill with my eyes closed and if I tried hard enough, I could pretend that I was running outside with my dog (even though that never really happened, lets be serious now, walking) outside my house with green green grass and the occasional horse and the cherry blossom tree at the end of my court and it made me wish I was home, just for a little, just for fall.

I discovered why I love Columbia so much and why I can fit in here so well... it's a giant school full of awkward kids who say and do and live awkwardly together in this giant awkward mess of college life... and it's amazing, since you know, I am awkward.

Baltimore is home. I'm from the county and can't even call myself Baltimorean, but it's home.

Holiday Numbers

1 Thanksgiving holiday

2 winning games in chinese checkers

3 shootings in Baltimore/Baltimore County on Friday

4 years that it took to make my blanket, it was a work in progress

5 days off from Columbia

6 hours spent waiting for the bus/riding the bus/riding the subway back to Columbia

7 minutes before I saw my first homeless man in Baltimore

8 number of bags of popcorn, raisinetts, and gushers eaten by Allegra and me

9 tv shows i watched with victoria and the family on the couch. I love them

10 deer in my yard over the holiday

11 years since Calvert Hall was score-less at Turkey Bowl... maybe next year?

12 hours of sleep on Friday. It was beautiful

13 dollar shirts at H&M. I actually own long sleeved shirts now

14 years old Victoria is. I love her. (you, since you are probably reading this)

15 stars you can see just from my sunroof

16 minutes spent searching for my car in the Towson parking lot

17 dollars left after buying soft pretzels at Turkey bowl

18 minutes spent being lost around Loch Raven Blvd/Perring Parkway

19 miles over the speed limit i drove on average. i love my shared car.

20 empanandas eaten while at home

21 pages of the Symposium I read on the bus, no where near enough

22 hours of homework I didn't do... blahhhh

23 or so friends I saw and miss very very very very much. Much love to them.

I'm tempted to pay one of the hispanic leaf picker uppers to let me rake the leaves and jump in them. Seriously.

I'm tempted to pay someone to let me babysit their kid.

I'm tempted to steal someone's puppy and let it live in my room and then I could come home to unconditional love.

I'm obviously not tempted to do my homework or write my papers.

I discovered why I love Columbia so much and why I can fit in here so well... it's a giant school full of awkward kids who say and do and live awkwardly together in this giant awkward mess of college life... and it's amazing, since you know, I am awkward.

Parties are awkward until everyone gets drunk enough to dance, classes are awkward because no one wants to be the one kid who knows all the answers so kids will count how much they speak in class and limit themselves which is awkward and in general... we're awkward! Roar, awkward lions, roar.

Anyway, that realization makes me feel happy.

I miss fall so much and I need to limit the number of times I look at my pictures of fall from back home because it makes me sad. Trees go green and then yellow green and then since they are secretly fake trees, at night people come by and pull the leaves off of them to make people feel like they are in fall. But they're not. I'm big on nature.

Anyway, Columbia is love, but so is Baltimore, Maryland... dirty drug infested crab eating illiterate irish loving love. Nothing says love like crabs and heroin.... the end.

How Maryland Are You? Your Result: You're 100% Maryland You have erected a shrine to Ray Lewis in your living room, complete with a "BELIVE 'HON" bumper sticker on your car. You can name every county in the state and refer to Howard County as "Ho Co." The second you step over the stae line, you feel weird, and need a Natty Bo.
You're 80% Maryland
You're 60% Maryland
You're 40% Maryland
You're 20% Maryland
How Maryland Are You?

yay!!!!

Happy Halloween!

I promise I'm not homesick, I just seem to write when I'm thinking about home, ie when the dorm room is quiet and I can't put off studying.

I'm coming home to leaves! and I'm coming home to home and its a beautiful thing, to be in my bed and drive where I want and see everyone because so many people stayed home. I love Baltimore and Maryland and even though it really is shitty in comparison to other cities and states and our schools are really terrible, it's home.

Not to say NY isn't amazing and that its not my home because it is. Its so weird to think I'm leaving home to go home twice in a week. But NY is home and I"m happy here. People should visit me. I wish I was living the extravagant life of a Sex and the City character but I'm really just a sleep deprived college student who rides subways, its great fun.

I'm seeing Bill Clinton in two weeks, be jealous...

Today I went to gym and went running on the treadmill with my eyes closed and if I tried hard enough, I could pretend that I was running outside with my dog (even though that never really happened, lets be serious now, walking) outside my house with green green grass and the occasional horse and the cherry blossom tree at the end of my court and it made me wish I was home, just for a little, just for fall.

No one told me NY doesn't get fall, apparently the trees stay green and then the leaves are all gone one day, theres no in between. The weather is getting crisp but the leaves aren't changing color and its sad to think there aren't going to be any crunchy leaves this fall, I'm not going to go raking with Victoria (again being serious...watch Victoria and Marita rake while I run out and jump in them). I'm not homesick and I know I belong at Columbia, but sometimes I remember little things from home, like watching Passions with Victoria or going grocecry shopping with my dad, and I wish I could do that again.

I haven't driven a car in almost a month and a half and I miss that too, but the idea of driving a car in NY is terrifying.

School is going well, if you know me, then you know that I am leaving all my work until the last minute, wanting to kill myself the night before its due and then repeating. But I'm trying to improve.

I need to start writing more and not knowing what is going on in the world drives me crazy. I have three news podcasts on itunes now, but I really want my newsweek, I'm pretty much a newswhore.

My posters are coming in soon and then my room will be more Angela-fied, that makes me happy.


I miss home but I'm so happy at home. Its crazy how both of these statements can be true.

Greetings from Columbia! haha

Sometimes I look around school and I can't believe I'm here, I can't belive I'm at Columbia. It doesn't feel like anything special at all and then sometimes it just hits you and its crazy.

I went to the Save Darfur rally today and O.A.R. played with Big and Rich and it was free and amazing. Sitting on the grass with friends on a sunny day with hundreds of people who believe in this great cause is amazing.

I may only be writing this because I have a paper due tomorrow and I don't feel like finishing it. And because I finished uploading music to itunes and this is the only mode of procrastination left... true to fashion.

Homework sucks.

I discovered I can roll my r's with the help of alcohol. Maybe thats the secret to bilingualism or whatever.

Life is good and will get better when I come home next weekend for Virgin Fest... all day insanity.

I can't wait.

yayyy

What will happen on the first day of school?

• Becca will show how out of shape they are in gym class

• Allegra will make you cookies to celebrate

• Katie will eat their lunch and yours while tearfully recounting their summer

• Victoria will come to school wearing only a potato sack and say 'don't ask.'

• Angela will bite you in the butt

'What will happen on the first day of school?' at QuizGalaxy.com

I'm at college and its enjoyable. You should see my dorm room because it so overflowing with decorations (more on my roomate's part than mine) but its very bright and cheery. But its so green and friendly that it makes me happy.

Go to college, its what cool kids do. Go to Columbia, its where kids get drunk and then talk about Holden Caulfied. So far it is bliss.